Thursday, December 20, 2012

non-native arabic speaker



"Allow me to speak my Arab tongue
before they occupy my language as well.
Allow me to speak my mother tongue
before they colonise her memory as well.
I am an Arab woman of color.
and we come in all shades of anger"
(Rafeef Ziadah, Palestinian Activist, 2011)


I learned arabic since kindergarten until secondary school.
Some people might think that by now I should have known arabic language by heart.
Plus I have my own ustazah arab at home which is my mom (proud to say she was my arabic language teacher during my form 5). And all of the siblings have knowledge in arabic (we went to the same kindergarten and primary school, so basically we all learned from the same syllabus).
Unfortunately, it is a big NO. I just keep on learning but then since I don't do much on the talking part, so I'm not fluent in the language. AT ALL.

Why did suddenly I bring on this topic.
Recently, when I accompanied my mom at the hospital, her friend from Cairo came for a visit.
They were having their conversation in arabic (fushah not 'ammi).
And I did try my best to understand the conversation. I did understand it a little (not all..but then its better than not understand it at all..hu)
Suddenly, the aunt ask me (in arabic of course) : nusaibah, how's ur arabic?
I was speechless..what should I say? I can't speak arabic?your mom is an arabic teacher..and you don't speak arabic?and you've been learning arabic since what?5 years old?what a shame..that is what I thought during that time..
Fortunately, I've been saved by the doctor who want to have a look at my mom condition *sigh*. the great thing is that I don't have to answer the question.
But then, the question keep on circulating in my mind. And it is not the first time though that I told myself that I have to learn back this language. Not just learn but this time I have to love the language.

Years back, I learned it just for the sake of getting A in the exam. And I found the language is not that hard (compared to engineering subject, it is much more easier). Though it become quite hard when suddenly you have to learn the grammar and literature (I learn the communication only in previous school). Then, at the same year you first learnt those thing you have to take a big exam which is SMA. It was during my form 4 when I moved to Sekolah Agama from my previous school. And for the first time, I nearly failed for the paper during the first test. It is a history though.
A good thing is that, Allah did fulfill what I want(Alhamdulillah^^). I managed to get A for every big exam on the subject. Even got exempted during my foundation. But then it means nothing if I can't even speak properly with the language. Let alone understanding the conversation. I might know some words, but most of the words sound foreign to me.

So, let's learn arabic. I'm not sure yet how, but I think this should be put in my wishlist.
I wish that one day, I can understand the Qur'an without much help from the translation *big grin*

p/s: Before that, the husband call and ask for my mother (in arabic also..what do you expect? He is an IRK lecturer)..and I am being the ignorant one in the language replied by english..double shame..and I don't even know how to start the conversation when I went to pick them at the door of the ward..at that moment, I wish there is a hole and I can just simply hiding in it -__- and when my mom asked me to accompany them back to the ward's door I refused because I was just afraid if they tried to talk to me again in arabic and I don't know what to say for the reply *hmmph* [awkward moment]

Sunday, December 16, 2012

untuk awak

It has been..2 months perhaps?
or is it more?
I lost the count..in fact I've never pay attention to the days went by
Because somewhat
Deep down I wish that we can joke around back
Like the old times
What have I done wrong this time T_T

APG kata: Da'ie tak boleh ego
but then here I am
indulge in my big ego
am I the one that ruin this friendship *sigh*
But then from that time
you stop talking, joking, being stupid with me
I kept wondering what have I done
Till now still I'm not sure what have I done
Will you enlighten me someday later?
That one day that I wish will happen
Before your last day here (I should put this in my wishlist perhaps?)
That one day when we can smile, laugh,being stupid together again :)

Ini untuk awak
Sila abaikan grammar ok
sbb sy bkn Mr. Henry Middleton
Semoga awak baik2 di sana
dan tenang2 je undergo these 2 weeks yg hectic :)
islamic-quotes:

Guide

It is our choice to take it or leave it

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Rant

salam

half semester had went by
next monday will be the progress presentation for the FYP
not the final presentation
but usually the first impression give great impact right?
bila kerja menimbun selalu je rasa nk lari dari UIA ni
and masa tu la rasa homesick menyerang dgn jayanya *sigh*

"If you don't have much going wrong in your life, then you don't have much going on in your life"
-Larry Winget in Shut Up, Stop Whining, and Get a Life- 




S: patutnya angah ni kena la mengalah dgn piah..angah tu kan kakak
N: kenapa pulak? angah mmg xkan mengalah dgn piah..angah mestilah nk menang
S: piah pun x kan mengalah dgn angah
N: *speachless* (nmpk sgt ak selalu cr pasal dgn die smpi die sound cmtu..tetibe pulak tu)

p/s: sbnrnya sy rndu nk cr gaduh dgn bdk kecik kt rumah tu

Friday, November 2, 2012

why want to be a judge?

kadang2 manusia terlalu judgemntal terhadap action org lain
nampak org couple je dah buat muka
nampak org dye rmbut segala pun mcm2 fikir
I am not saying that they do a right thing
indeed memang salah benda yg mereka buat
tapi kalau kita tak buat apa2 towards them
nasihat ke..tegur ke..
we don't have right to judge them

Why did I said so? sebab manusia ni Allah cipta bukan untuk menjadi orang yg mengadili
tapi tugas kita adalah ajak ke arah kebaikan and halang orang buat benda x baik
and before kita nk judge orang
nak ckp diorang ni susah sgt ke nk tinggal & berubah which is memang susah
ask ourselves first..aku dah buat apa untuk tolong mereka berubah?
at least la..ada tak aku doakan supaya Allah buka pintu hati diorang and mudahkan jalan utk mereka berubah?
Kalau tak de then we have no right at all nak judge people
Kalau ada and tak berjaya..keep on praying..sebab hati tu Allah yg pegang..
in fact, kita punya hati pun bila2 Allah boleh tarik nikmat iman & Islam dr hati kita..



p/s: info berbaur emo..just blogwalking and read a post..mungkin sbb trase kot?hueh..typical me

Thursday, October 25, 2012

colours


despite of the differences
people needs each other to live well
and colours each other life

and we determined which colour we want
to colour our life :)


and I'm glad
to have them
to colour my life


rasa berhabuk sgt
bila tgk colour baru rasa lama dah colour2 tu x keluar dari kotak & menari atas kertas -__-
selamat hari Arafah (jom puasa?) 
selamat hari raya Aidil adha in advance juga!

Monday, July 2, 2012

bila kutunggu

salam!!
alhamdulillah..another year of study had passed by..having internship now for about 2months ++..it is quite boring since most of the time we'll sit and goyang kaki..not much works..dgn perangai org yg mcm x faham malay=__=

But..yes..i'm learning a lot..Kalau selama ni ddk uia rasa selamat dan persekitaran selesa..This is the 2nd time rasa something different..the 1st time was during PLKN..masa ni la dpt tgk masyarakat tu mcm mana..and mmg bile berdepan dgn masy stand kita akn sgt diuji..between nk siapkn kerja and solat..dengan ikhtilatnya..klau kt uia xde org nk tepuk tampar cubit buat muke mntk penampar..skrg sume ade..and indeed kdg2 mmg rse nk slap je (mngkin ptt pki glove?hueh)

Walaupun (asal cm skema gile dah ni) ade manusia berperangai pelik and die pulak yg pelik dgn ktorg padahal die yg pelik..tp ada jgk manusia xpelik kt sini..and kalau dulu selalu je rasa best klau Allah buat iman tu diwarisi..bila kerja rasa Allah sangat adil sbb x buat iman tu diwarisi..kalau tak mmg kesian anak2 bos n staff sini^^ betul la manusia ni sgt mudah lupa kt Allah bila dah senang..

Tapi, one thing that i'm afraid of is ade saying ke ape tah ckp org yg baik xboleh ddk dlm lingkungan org belum baik sbb lmbt laun die akan terikut..and org blm baik kalau ddk dlm lingkungan org baik die akn berubah jd baik..sy bukan lah nk ckp: "weh..sy bai..korg tak!!"..nope..coz i know that i'm not..tp Allah byk sgt jg aib sy:'( what i'm trying to say is sy rindu usrah dan uia..sbb sy dikelilingi org2 yg baik n berusaha utk jd baik..selama ni 24jam dikelilingi mrk..skrg hampir separuh hari dikelilingi mrk yg seperti di ats..dan kdg2 sy rse sy da affected dgn suasana ni:'(

till then~

p/s: sila la doakn sy..sy xtahu nape hati sy pelik skrg..and ianya sgt menyedihkan..
p/ss: sy rndu amat sgt dkt kia kaha..mrk sangaaattt bg sy kekuatan utk ubah and stop byk bnde yg sy pttnye stop lame dah..*hugs*